Female-Led Relationship Contract: A Template You Can Actually Use

A plain-language FLR agreement template, section by section, with the clauses that matter and the ones to leave out. Free to copy and adapt.

An FLR contract is not a legal document and will not be enforced by anyone. What it does is force two people to write down what they actually mean, which is harder and more useful than it sounds.

Most couples who try this discover, somewhere around the second section, that they had different things in mind. Finding that out on paper is considerably better than finding it out in an argument next spring.

Below is a template you can copy and adapt. Change everything. The wording matters less than the fact that you both sat down and wrote it.

Before you start

Three ground rules, and they are not decorative:

• Write it together. A contract one person presents to the other for signature is not an agreement, it is a demand with formatting.
• Nothing in it overrides consent. No clause in any document removes either person’s right to say no, to anything, at any time.
• Put an expiry date on it. An agreement that cannot be reopened is a trap. Six months is a reasonable first term.

The template

1. What we are agreeing

We are choosing a relationship in which [name] holds final say in the areas set out below. We are both entering this freely. Either of us can end it at any time, without needing a reason.

Start here, because it is the clause people skip and the one that matters most.

2. Where it applies

Final say applies to:

• Household finances above £[amount] per transaction
• [e.g. where we live / holidays / the household schedule]

Final say does not apply to:

• Either person’s career, health, or family relationships
• [anything else you want to keep joint]

Be specific, and be specific about the exclusions in particular. “Everything” is not a workable scope. It forces it forces one person to hold opinions about things neither of you cares about.

3. How decisions get made

[Name] gives his view once, fully, and it is genuinely considered. [Name] then decides. Once decided, neither of us reopens it unless something material changes.

Note the obligation runs both ways. Hers is to actually listen; his is to stop arguing afterwards. A clause binding only one of you is not an agreement.

4. Who does what

[Name] owns: [cooking / laundry / the school run / …]

Owning a task means deciding how and when it is done. Neither of us supervises the other’s domains.

That second sentence is the one that makes the section work. Handing over a task without handing over the judgement leaves the mental load exactly where it was.

5. Money

Accounts are managed by [name]. Each of us keeps independent access to [account / amount]. Spending under £[amount] needs no discussion.

Keep the independent access clause. Whatever else you agree, neither partner should be without their own money. It is basic financial safety and it costs the arrangement nothing.

6. Sex, if this applies to you

[Name] initiates and sets the pace. Either of us can decline anything, at any time, without explanation.

Plenty of couples leave this section out entirely. If you include it, the second line is not optional.

7. Raising problems

Either of us can call a pause at any time. During that conversation the arrangement is suspended and we talk as equals.

Without this, the only way to raise a problem with the structure is to break it. That turns every structural problem into a fight.

8. Review

We review this on [date], and at least every six months after that. Either of us can ask for an earlier review.

Signed: [name], [name], [date]

What to leave out

Some clauses turn up in templates online and should not be in yours.

• Punishments or consequences. Once non-compliance has a penalty, this is no longer a domestic arrangement between equals. If a disciplinary dynamic is genuinely what you both want, it belongs in an explicit kink framework with the safeguards that come with one (negotiated limits, a safe word, aftercare) not folded into an agreement about the laundry.
• Anything about his friendships or his appearance. Controlling who a partner sees is the clearest single marker of a controlling relationship, whoever is doing it.
• Confidentiality clauses. Being forbidden to discuss your own relationship with anyone isolates you. Discretion is a choice; enforced silence is not.
• “Permanent”, “irrevocable”, “for life”. Nothing here is, and writing it does not make it so. It only makes leaving feel like a breach.
• Financial surrender. No clause transferring all of someone’s income with no independent access. See section 5.

Does any of it bind you?

No. It is not a contract in the legal sense, and no court will look at it. Agreements between partners about household conduct are not enforceable, and anything touching property or finances would need a proper legal instrument and independent advice.

That is fine, because enforcement was never the point. The document’s value is the two hours you spend writing it and the disagreements it surfaces while they are still cheap to fix.

If you are combining finances or property in a serious way, get actual legal advice. That is a separate document and a separate conversation.

Frequently asked questions

Is a female-led relationship contract legally binding? No. It is a written understanding between two people, not an enforceable agreement. Anything involving property, money or children needs a proper legal document and independent advice.

How long should it be? A page. Longer documents tend to be a sign the underlying agreement has not been settled, and the detail gets used as ammunition later.

Should we sign it? Signing adds a little weight to the moment, which some couples find useful. It changes nothing legally. Dating it matters more, because it tells you when to review.

What if one of us wants out? Then it ends. Any agreement that cannot be exited freely is not one, which is why the opening clause says so explicitly.

Can we write one without using the term FLR? Easily, and many couples prefer to. The template works just as well as a plain agreement about who decides what.